Battling The Big Clits...

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Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Toniy » Tue May 15, 2012 1:42 pm

Hey all, Johnny, everybody, hey...

So uh... you know, I'm new here. First post and all that. But I'm HERE because I think you guys have the right idea.

I want to start with a short story (it might have you wearing a little smile once we're done) then I'll get onto my question.

The Story

I used to be a real fat dude... Not superhumanly obese, but enough I could lean back and feel my back crease up, enough to accept my 'big arms' are fatceps, not biceps... and enough to realise 'fella, you done fucked up'.

See I had the dream of being this big, strong, Six Foot (alright 5' 11"... something...) mountain of a man that girls ejaculate over, gets kissed by strangers (ideally of the vaginal persuasion), lifts cars and houses, dances, romances, runs a successful business, travels on a whim, has adventures, with a woman on his arm capable of ending wars... Or starting them, but whatever.

Unfortunately, at age 26 I found myself fat, weak, reasonably handsome (though you can't tell... face was a blob)... charming, certainly, but doing nothing with it... I quit my job about 13 months ago to 'make it' with my own business, but being a Fat Fuck, didn't work as hard as I should've to make things happen... so had no money.

I was great in bed, but I broke up with my cute, sexy 19 year old, psychopath, self-harmer, borderline personality disorder girlfriend, because I thought it would give me that extra motivation to 'make something happen'... She wasn't supportive of my goals, told me actively 'I just don't think you'll do it'... And also she was kinda making me wish I wanted to fuck guys instead so I wouldn't have to deal with her shit anymore... Also I think she started to wish I was her Dad.

... But what happened upon break up was actually depression spiral so deep it could've fit snugly in my ever-fucking-expanding ass crack.

So I got up to around 19 stone (I'm based in England / Wales here... we like to do things the old-fashioned way, like maintaining an antiquated ruling class and comparing the weight of things with big rocks)... or 265lbs, and that's at roughly 170lbs of lean muscle, bone and dick.

Anyways, while I knew more than most (though not as much as others) with regard to training and nutrition... being a Fat Fuck, I had the Fat Fuck Mindset... Which is a bastardised concoction of laziness, complacence, procrastination and self-hate. I knew what to do... I just didn't / wouldn't do it.

That was about 5 months ago...

In New Year's 2012 I looked in the mirror and at my life and thought 'You are an utter cunt... A Big Fat Disappointment...'

I mean, what was the point of 'knowing' all this stuff if I was too much of a pussy bitch to do anything about it?

And then I came across a quote:

"I'm fat because I choose what I want NOW for what I want MOST"... Which is, I suppose, a reference to eating awful shit, staying in bed instead of getting up and doing shit, or watching TV instead of building a business and shit...

And then my whole world changed... I realised it was all just simple decision.

Was I choosing what I wanted Most?

WHY the fuck not?

No good answer to that one... I still had some of that pussy-soaking Viking Superman left in me.

In the past 4 months I dropped around 50 lbs of pure fat, which is an average of about 3lbs per week... And there was no exercise involved whatsoever.

The details of that diet aren't what I'm here to discuss, because it absolutely goes against the 'big and strong' thing we're after... but with that much excess filth on my body, I just wanted it off ASAP before I could concentrate fully on my real goal... Super-Sex-Viking. Better than a gastric band.

The point of that story is this... I'm no longer a Fat Fuck... At least, in my mind.

Sure I've got the extra poundage, but only another Phase of my diet will get me to where I want to be body fat wise.

So I'm now in the mindset of setting new goals. The goals I used to have before I went so far off track.

After my next phase, I should be down to about 15% BF... At which point I'll want to start GSLP.

I'm still concentrating on building my business (which has now gone awesomely well) and I have to 'relocate' pretty soon, and while it might be the bitch approach... I know I couldn't give it my all to my training right now.

But when I do... here's what I'm after.

The Goal

In short:

I Want To Be Stronger Than Any Woman On The Planet

Now that may seem dick-ish... You may still be thinking of me as that gluttenous waster with a dick hidden in thigh-fat... or you may just be thinking about that thing I said about wishing I wanted to fuck dudes...

I'd ask you to put that aside for a moment.

I'm at the stage now, as I surely hope many, if not all of you have been at one stage or another...

Where you've done enough to feel like 'The World Is Your Oyster'... And it fucking deserves to be as well.

I'm on the precipice of a successful, happy life.

And this is what I want...

I want to be as much a Man as a Man can.

In the physical realm, Man is generally stronger than Woman... It's one of those very, very, extremely rare things that Woman can't usually take away from us. Like having a dick or bleaching our assholes.

No... forget that last part.

I believe strongly in the Feminine and the Masculine... I believe they're two energies that shouldn't be confused, compromised, or bastardised in any other way.

Otherwise you leave yourself open to a swarm of bull-dykes and bitch-queens... Not really my cup of tea... But only so far as I don't want to fuck or be like them.

On the flip side, they CAN be fucking hilarious. The bitch-queens... Bull-Dykes in my experience just kinda act like that fat dude you don't like and try to sell your mother a cat that's complelely fucked up, under false pretence.

I believe a Man needs to embrace fully his Masculinity, and part of that Masculinity is developing power and physical strength... It better aids other elements of being Masculine e.g. to protect, to defend, to fight, feed and fuck.

Now in my opinion, undoubtedly the Feminine energy kicks the Masculine energy's ass every single time... Because what else do we do anything for other than the glorious warmth between their legs; the source of all their power...?

The stronger we get (in all respects), the more masculine we can be, the greater feminine energy we can attract... The happier and awesomer a life we'll lead.

That's just how I see it. Everything I do, I do for the ultimate goal of making an incredible woman happy. Because that's what makes me happy.

So hopefully it's clearer now WHY I want to be stronger than any woman on the planet.

It's essentially how I'll know I've reached the peak of my physical masculinity... That and a beard.

I think it's possible... But now I should probably explain the thread title.

The Big Clit...

When I say 'I want to be stronger than any woman on the planet'... I actually mean WOMAN.

After a little research... Here's what I've come up with:

Jill Mills




Gemma Taylor




And my biggest rival... The Ultimate Amazon Valkyrie Hotness

Aneta Florczyk






Quick Note: Can you imagine for a moment, any feeling more empowering than having this girl quaking and moistening at the site of you? This woman, who could by all means destroy the world... a complete slave to your cock. That's Masculinity Sugarbear!

Now you'll notice how these women are all actually pretty fuckable, adorable and hell... Beautiful. Because they are STRONG WOMEN. No shit. Really fuckin' strong too.

You could call 'em 'big clits', like you'd say 'the big swinging dicks' to show a certain appreciation for their position and stature... but that's not actually what I meant, I'll get onto that a bit later.

So yeah, while they have bested themselves in a rather masculine pursuit, they've still done it with a somewhat feminine grace... And these are the ladies who hold the biggest threat to me never hearing the following statement:

"That girl could DEFINITELY kick your ass bro..."

I've done a little research into how much these girls can lift... and here's what I reckon I need to come up with.

    130 kg Press (286 lbs)

    200 kg Bench (440 lbs)

    275 kg Squat (605 lbs)

    285 kg Deadlift (627 lbs)

    175kg Power Clean (385 lbs)

Admirable goals for sure... But I reckon I can manage it. Now I don't know if their lifts were recorded using belts, straps, special tampons or any other lifting gear... But let's assume not.

I could live with lifting those with a belt and some decent shoes, but other than that, it's gotta be raw. Ish.

My earlier emphasis on 'Woman' stems from this... Becca fucking Swanson.

While certainly female, she loves her 'roids and no longer counts as what I would determine to be 'A Woman'... simply female, or 'without-a-cock'.

Her lifts are staggering:

Squat – 854 lbs (387.5 kg)

Bench Press – 600 lbs (272.5 kg)

Deadlift – 683 lbs (310 kg)

Total (in one meet) – 2050 lbs (930 kg)

But she also looks like this:




I don't give two fucks about chemical usage etc. or not... choice is choice.

It's not my thing, but neither's showering for the most part.

But this... Well shit the amount of testosterone flowing through those veins has gotta be more than a collective 'for ages 16-18' circle jerk.

That contributes to an enormous clitoris. I won't post pictures. But that's why how come the title. Made sense when I thought about writing this earlier...

But yeah, there's a lot going on there. I'm not trying to take on Jay Cutler for christ sake...

My goal's are simple... Maximum Maxculinity.


Avoiding getting my ass kicked by a girl in a masculine pursuit...

So in retrospect, the title isn't exactly accurate... I'm only battling for strength over the dainty and rapturous clits of those gorgeously strong women... Not the ginormous mini-dicks that come from the swanson-esque types.

But 'Battling The Dainty Clits' makes me sound like a bastard... instead of a fucking weirdo with his heart in the right place.

The question then....

Am I an asshole?

If not...

These goals... assuming I have reasonably genetics going for me (I could deadlift 160kg (350lbs?) almost as soon as I started training, with virtually zero physical exertion for a background)... Are they reasonable?

If not...

What else should I do?

That last bit wasn't really a serious question. I'll figure something out... Do some kegels or something.

Thanks fella, and fellas, and lady-fellas... All the best,

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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby AtlasDeadlifted » Tue May 15, 2012 8:28 pm

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Location: New York, NY

Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Scotty » Wed May 16, 2012 5:51 pm

The first part of this story sounds very familiar.... looks like I'm about 5 months behind you
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Toniy » Thu May 17, 2012 7:28 pm

No shit, 5 months?

Well Scotty, man, I started this shit about 4 months ago.

Now I'm HOPING you just mean you got like... 65lbs or so to drop before you hit 15% BF or something, so you've started, but got that little extra bulge to shift....

... Instead of 'I'll start in a month' :D

You'd be amazed at how fast those months go by though buddy, once you get started and know you're doing the right thing.

If you can last 21 days, you can last forever.

And it's just a case of asking yourself 'Am I doing what I want most, or what I want NOW... whenever the bad decision presents itself...

"Can I exercise more self-control than a toddler and / or a fat Alabama housewife who says 'no matterrr how much ah trah, ah jus can' lose dis weight'..... as she starts lubing up with margerine because it's 'low-fat'.

Now I don't know what the rules are here about posting outside content, or making recommendations beyond Greyskull... But I'd be happy to tell you what it is I did exactly to drop those pounds before feeling comfortable lifting seriously again.

It's just my opinion of course... But I'd be much happier making the 'crossover' from fat-ass to hard-ass starting at 15% than 30%+

Could be the same for others.

I'm just here to help... It ain't no fun being a whale.

(Note: Went to see Nana the other day, she told me I no longer looked like a beached whale and probably wasn't going to get diabetes... bless her heart :))
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby spider monkey » Sat May 19, 2012 7:50 pm

Very entertaining post Toniy! It's good to have a clearly definable goal. Mine is to be the strongest damned grandma in the county. :)
spider monkey
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Toniy » Sun May 20, 2012 3:28 pm

spider monkey wrote:Very entertaining post Toniy! It's good to have a clearly definable goal. Mine is to be the strongest damned grandma in the county. :)

Heeyyyy.... well that was NOT what I was expecting :-D

In amongst what I assumed to be a hive of testosterone, I've clearly just been presented with a woman (I'm basing that assumption on 'grandma') who is:

a) exceptionally cool,
b) has a great sense of humour,
c) can see through modern day PC bullshit clearly enough to tell I'm trying to be a good guy...

You're a rare breed Ms. Monkey!

Glad to meet ya :-)

Now... thankfully you'll have no trouble from that Swanson fella, because that bitch has turned her ovaries into testicles... I don't think it's possible for that person to breed now... so turning Grandma is outta the picture.

The other girls, well ones Polish (Florczyk), one's American (Mills) and the other is English (Taylor).... so if you're not in any of those countries, you're probably ok...

On the pretty safe assumption you're in the UK / USA (sure, you may be an Aussie :-p)... well I don't think they've bred yet either.

So based on that, and how awesome you clearly already are... I reckon you can do it! And by the time they get to 'grandma' time, you'll be pissing all over them.

Figuratively of course... Your bladder'll be able to hold back niagara falls ;-)
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Toniy » Mon May 21, 2012 4:59 am

Scotty wrote:The first part of this story sounds very familiar.... looks like I'm about 5 months behind you

I actually thought I'd replied to this earlier man, apologies for that!

Might've dreamt it... (Note: Turns out I did... just a mix up in the approval queue!)

Yeah man, I mean hopefully you're talking like you've got a few extra lbs to shift, rather than 'you started 4 months ago... so I'm gonna start next month'.

Once you begin it's crazy how the mind shifts...

  • You feel lighter than what you're losing
  • Bad foods taste bad and your cravings all but disappear (rare twinges occur but are piss easy to deal with)
  • You feel amazing about yourself (because you're actually doing what 99% of people never will a.k.a. fags)
  • You feel stronger (because everything is easier, because you aren't lugging around extra weight)
  • You feel sexier (because people will tell you)

The first day is easy unless you try and talk yourself into starting tomorrow...
The second day is a little tougher, but you're still pretty pumped...
The third tot he seventh day can be tricky, but if you've got a kind of 'craving buster' at hand, it's cool
The second week is about the same... you get pumped at hitting 1 week, then there's nothing to celebrate so you just gotta stick with it...

The third week is the same again, but you'll have made decent progress and things will have started shifting around in your mind...
After three weeks everything becomes easy, you don't even think about it anymore... It just is what it is and nothing hits you hard enough you can't handle it.

My best advice is to learn to use herbs, spices and tomatoes effectively... Those bitches saved my life :-)

Nail is Scotty fella, you can do it, I've got money riding on it :-D
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby Toniy » Tue May 22, 2012 6:25 am

AtlasDeadlifted wrote:Image

........ You know... I'm usually really good at spotting hidden meanings... But I'm lost.

My best guess... the ultimate 'fuck this' :-D

Communicated in the most enjoyable way possible of course. But Shit, what do I do now?
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Re: Battling The Big Clits...

Postby spider monkey » Tue May 22, 2012 3:07 pm

Keep posting Toniy! You are very entertaining. Can't wait to see your workout log.

A) My kids definitely do not think I'm cool, except for the 26 year old. She is starting to come around.
B) I prefer to laugh most of the time
C) I don't know if you are a good guy yet, but you are entertaining for sure

I've been following Jill Mills for awhile and she is awesome. Bennie and Gemma are super heros.

I am in fact female, I've got scar tissue older than you, and I am not yet, in fact, a grandmother. My children are old enough but haven't gotten round to the business of procreating.

My bladder might hold back Niagra Falls, but it has a little trouble with a very heavy squat. Beware if I ask for a spot ;)
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